Tale of the Missing Erasers

It was a long time ago. Children in class 1 wrote in notebooks with pencils and used erasers to when they wanted to erase what they had written. Children of the rich and famous flaunted magnetic pencil boxes and pen pencils and pencil sharpeners and erasers of various shapes and colors. The rest of the mortals used normal HB pencils and plain white erasers. The primary school block was originally a house that was converted into a school and resembled an old tharavadu complete with a pond that had its entry blocked from students.

[From Google]

This is the story of a little girl who belonged to that class. The girl wrote ABCD with her pencil and erased stuff with her rubber and took  her pencils and  erasers home every day.Somewhere after mid August, strange things began to happen. The girl started losing her pencils and erasers. Every day, when she opened her pencil box at home , there would be either a pencil or a rubber missing. Her parents asked her many times, but she refused to divulge any information on the missing items. Parents, coaxed, bribed , screamed and tried every trick they knew, but the girl wouldn't say anything. Soon, they started cutting pencils and erasers into 4 and sending only one piece with her so as to make them last longer.But invariably the items disappeared at the end of the day.

The parents began to suspect that she was giving her things to some one else  in school. Then one day , her uncle gave her a shiny new eraser. As the parents were thinking of excuses to keep the eraser away from her pencil box so that she wouldn't lose it, the girl herself came forward and asked her parents to keep the eraser for safe keeping. To her surprised mom and dad , she said, I don't want to take it to school,  Param will make me throw it into the pond"." Why do you have to do what he says. Does he bully you?" asked her concerned parents. "No Amma, But you know , Param, he is a terrorist, you saw him at the independence day programme na. He says he has a gun and when he says, all of us have to put our pencils and erasers into the pond."

Thus the mystery was solved. Param was living his fancy dress role as a Punjabi separatist and terrorizing the girls. Things were all back to normal after a small chit chat with the class teacher and param's parents.



Time moved on.The little girl grew up , remained more or less stupid and writes blogs now. The terrorist grew up and became a chartered accountant and even took an internship at the little girl's dad's office and needless to say , people  who know the story make full use of it to make fun of them when they get the chance.

P.S : Obviously , people who are reading this , must know it is my story and I recently added the terrorist as a facebook friend. :P



[From Google]



Residential Reptile

Overheard in a metro transit bus.


Passenger : It is getting colder isn't it.
Bus Driver : Yeah.. the winter is sure coming up..
Passenger : There was a power outage yesterday at our place.
Bus Driver  Really? That must have been terrible. How long was it out?
Passenger : Oh a couple of hours . It was OK, except my python was getting real cold .
Me (Thinking) :(This is one of those snake eating guys, I wouldn't have guessed! Poor guy must have had a real cold dinner because of the power cut.).
Passenger : You see , the cage heater stopped working.
Me (Thinking) :It is a real live DISCOVERY CHANNEL  TYPE PYTHON. Living in a house(eeeeeeeks) as a pet, may be he calls it Pythagoras or something.


Bus Driver : Interesting. So you have a python for a pet? What did you do then?
Passenger : Oh.I really wanted to get a cat. But my room mate was allergic to cats. So I got a python.
It is a sweet thing. Beleive me..


(At that point , I made a mental note to check with my apartment for the list of pets that they allowed to make sure that anything of the reptilian variety was  off the list.Also never to leave the apartment door open in case of a power outage if at all one happened at our place.)

P.S : Long break from blogging since I'm still getting used to my new glasses( I do soo hate wearing them)  .

In the Path of Thorns (Posted in Darlings of Venus)

When this month's discussion topic was announced  and Maithili implored all of us to come out with our experience,I was sure that there would not be many entries.But was shocked beyond belief to read the revelations from my friends at DOV and after reading what each of them shared , my respect for these amazing ladies have increased a hundred fold.

An age old saying in my language goes like this "immaterial of whether a leaf falls on a thorn or the thorn falls on a leaf,the leaf gets damaged ". And from the moment a girl child is born ,these cliched lines are oft repeated to the parents and the girl alike.That being said,every girl at some point gets her share of prickly sex repressed male thorns.

Being in a close knit family with grand parents,uncles , aunts and cousins living almost on the same compound to look after me and by God's grace, I haven't had to encounter such bastards in my life.But just as a leaf on a rose bush cannot escape grazing through the thorns to fly in the wind, I too have fleeting memories of nameless and faceless parasites that refuse to go away that must be the part of memories of even the most ordinary Indian girl.

1)The hairy hand that made into my purple frock when I was standing in queue for darshan at one of the most famous temples in Kerala and how I with all my might pushed it back and somehow exchanged position with a fat old lady in front of me.

2)The pointed fingers that kept poking me through the gap between the seat and the back rest in the TNSRTC bus while the teacher was taking me and a friend for a science camp in Tamil Nadu. the frustration when the teacher asked us to ignore the constant pokes and the my friend's fiery outburst at the guy which finally resulted in him moving to a different seat.

3)The numerous times I have had to ask my friends (guys) or cousins to exchange seats with me at a movie theater because some dark hands were trying to grope me in the safe darkness of the movie hall.

4)The lecherous eyes of the random guy who stopped me mid road to ask if I wear clothes when I take bath (!!!!).

5)Those decently dressed men in the heavily crowded trains and buses , whose only aim in life is to bump on to you with each movement the vehicle makes and then look back with a false smile as if it was an accident.

6)The showmen who post themselves at strategic locations near girls hostels and embarrass the girls by showing off their strategic body areas.

7)The hands that always try to find their way towards a girl when you are sleeping in a second class sleeper compartment and how you always remembered to sleep with your feet in the direction of the corridor and keep them covered under a blanket.

8)The fake sleeping guy who tries to fall asleep on your shoulders as if by some horrible quirk of  fate you did not get a lady's seat in one of those overpriced overnight Volvo buses.

With time and experience , I learned that this was the way of life and there was nothing much a woman could do to avoid such people completely (unless of course I wanted to shut myself off in a nunnery, which after some second thoughts involving Sister Abhaya might not be that safe either )

But some of my favorite weapons that helped me are an umbrella and a safety pin. Of course having a fierce look helps and some martial arts would be amazing.

Here are a few small tips to stay safe in daily life , which I used to follow

1)The open umbrella is a savior while walking through crowded foot paths , in that it gives you a  little space and a much needed weapon from guys whose only intent is to bump you and touch your breast.

2) A closed umbrella is a good weapon to use against auto  or taxi drivers if you feel they are planning something for you. (Have always been told this , but haven't had to use it personally).

3)Safety pin is a good weapon to be used when the perpetrator is hiding in a crowded or dark place, like a bus or movie theater.I have successfully used it on the guy who tried to poke me in
the movie theater .(3 pricks and 20 min later that guy left the theater). Compass or other sharp instruments can be used too but for the difficulty of carrying it around.

4)Having one or more trusted people of the stronger sex , unfortunately is one of the most fool proof ways to keep yourself safe.

Some things are to Live for.

I  will do anything to see you smile. One kiss from you is enough to make me feel that life is worthwhile after a long hard days work.  I love your playful eyes , the way they mischievously ask me for a million things and how they get their way each time. I will make your favorite food anytime of the day just to see that contented smile on your face. I love the way you ask for  me when we are back home .I love the way you rush into my arms every evening when I come to pick you up. I love the way you tell me all your news and the way you sing to me. I feel so happy to eat each tiny morsel of food that you so lovingly put into my mouth.  I love the way you show your excitement when you see me alight from my bus. I love the way you put your hands around me when you go off to sleep. I love the way you hug me and go to sleep lying down on my chest. And the way you ask "Are you alright?". And the way you watch  me smile at you  and say "Mamma is happy".

My dearest baby, I couldn't live with out your for a single day. Not from the day you were born .Not now, Not till the day I die. I might get used to you not being there with me all the time. I will learn in time to let my little bird fly away so that he can see the world  and fulfill his destiny. But that wouldn't make you any less mine. You will always be my baby -My Love.

Tell Tale Eyes

Seeing those beautiful eyes in Peeve's blog here , I couldn't resist posting this poem about eyes.

Tell Tale Eyes

Trying to look interested

I smile my best smile

My wandering eyes say I'm bored,

My eyes just won't lie.

Trying to show I'm awake

At the lecturer I smile

My drooping eyes say I'm asleep,

My eyes just won't lie.

Trying to control laughter

I hide it behind my smile

My twinkling eyes show all the mirth,

My eyes just won't lie.

Trying to cover my worry

Nervously I smile

My fretful eyes divulge the fear,

My eyes just won't lie.

Trying to mask my sadness

I try my best to smile

My blinking eyes let slip a tear,

My eyes just won't lie.

Trying to fool those around

I smile and I smile

Oblivious to the fact that,

My eyes just won't lie.

Figments of a distant past...Or a really beautiful dream

Some random beautiful memories from my childhood which are so vague that I cannot put a time or place on it , but so clear that I can feel and smell the memory . May be a dream or a deja vu or a   figment of distant past.

1)Walking over crackling dry leaves into a cluster of trees to look for the mate of a  yellow bird( called by folk lore as Shiva –Parvathi bird.) because if I spot a pair,I can make a wish..

2)Placing my feet in the cold green water and watching the tiny  fishes swim by. Getting in to the pond one step at a time, taking care not to slip.

3) The combination of  exhilaration and fear  when the swing reaches the leaves of the jack fruit tree and the smell of  leaves and fruits.

4)Watching the clouds lying down on the slanting parapet of my house and  contemplating what shape they are..making castles in the air.

5)A small brown myna flying away after pecking at and eating a roasted groundnut from  my palms.

6)Running to the temple with a 25p or a 50 p coin to after the balloon seller to buy an apple balloon.

7)Walking on a compound wall precariously to pluck jambakkas from a tree and then looking for some else below to catch those  before I can get down.

 8)That weird feeling of feet not touching the ground when the giant wheel at the pooram exhibition gains speed.

 9)Walking among the bushes to collect mehndi leaves and the smell of fresh green mailanji on the hands.

10)The sound of an old voice telling the story of Devi mahatmyam where brahma, Vishnu and Shiva see the whole universe in Devi's toe nail.

11)The feeling of being one with nature after being completely drenched from the dancing in the rain in the safety of a naalukettu or courtyard inside the house.

Ten Facts about Minneapolis Metro Transit

Being without a drivers license in a foreign country , I am forced to use the public transport system to commute to work. After reading this blog about the public transport in India , felt like writing one about my experiences with the metro transit.

Metro Transit Facts :

#1 You will never be without a seat on a bus.

Till this date , I have never ever been without a seat in any of the metro transit buses. The trains may be ,  but the buses always have plenty of seats. In fact I have even had the whole bus to myself once or twice.

#2 Always have exact money to pay.You cannot buy a ticket unless you have exact change, but most drivers will let you have the benefit of the doubt and give you the ticket , once or twice  even if you don't have it. But it does get you a lot of stares from around the bus  (This applies only if there are people in the bus).

#3 If some one asks about your job , avoid the usual techno jargon like programmer , software  etc , Better still avoid the word software altogether and say that you work for

 so and so employer. With huge recession fears looming, you don't want people staring at you like you stole their job from them.

#4 There are weirdo vaynokkis in every land. I even had to endure a guy try to talk to me about cricket (duh!)  and he was not an Indian or Pakistani.

#5 The other women you see on the bus are either dressed like sluts or women in their fifties talking about their grand children.Exceptions are few and far between mostly being Asian women with multiple children or Indian software engineers who sleep till their destination is reached. Men who are not in their fifties or sixties are usually dressed in jeans that look like they are held up only by virtue of static electricity and over sized t shirts.

#6 If you want to make polite conversation with fellow passengers , stick to safe topics like weather (What crappy weather today) or angst at approaching winter . Family questions are a strict no.

#7. Sometimes , your bus might stop for a disabled person and if it does , be assured that your connection bus will be gone , for in this country disabled people on wheel chair get royal treatment. (Made me feel sorry for the same category in India where they are just bound to be pushed off by the huge rush of people in the bus stop.

#8 If  you see some one who is carrying many leaflets , act fast asleep , for the person is most probably  a zealous follower of some church who will talk to you for hours about joining them which will make you fall asleep anyway.

#9 Expect public displays of affection. If you are embarrassed by it , feigning sleep is the best option , but believe it or not , I have seen worse in Indian trains.

#10 Know exactly where to get down. Do not expect the driver or the fellow passengers to be able to help you because , 9 out of 10 times they won't know and even in the odd chance that they do know, they might misunderstand your accent and misdirect you.