Pages of my Life

Wholly and Entirely inspired by this amazing post  of my teacher, where she wrote about the Sepia pages of her life.

The pages of my life go on

Immaterial. In consequential.
Meaningless.

With colored reality for yester-years

Pages frayed
From nostalgic wanderings.

Some vivid , picturesque

Others with words in-significant

In tear blurred ink 

The present quickly fades into the past.

The pages turn fast
 As I watch aghast.

Staring at the blank pages ahead

Trying to enjoy each ,
As it unfolds before me.

To savor every moment as it happens

In a vain delusion that
The pen I hold will let me choose
The words  I like

Before it becomes a written page.

Another memory in my past.

Bubbles

[http://www.flickriver.com/photos/dineanddish/popular-interesting]

To blow a bubble
Into the deep blue sky
To see it rest perkily
On the yellow green grass
For a moment, reflecting
The colors of your rainbow smile
Before it dissolves away
Softly in the lazy summer sun





To see the excitement
Of every bubble blown
Dancing in the air around
your laughing eyes
To catch them in my  palms
For you, before the Magic stops
To build castles in the air
Of rainbow bubbles
And bask in its momentary glow.
To share the joy of your childhood
And be a child again..

Part 2- The first meeting

It was a Saturday and she woke up at 8:00 AM. She wondered why. She would have happily slept till 10:00 AM had it not been for the whole crowd of people coming to see her. 9 people , what were they thinking? And she was pretty confident that they wouldn't like her. All her friends were going for another friend's house warming and she had missed all the fun. But she was not rebellious , in fact she was a lazy laid back person. She got up grudgingly and prepared herself for the ordeal.

Aunt :  You are still in your night dress? We have to get you looking all gorgeous in Saree. We can't have them feel that our girl is not good.. you know..

Mom : (In frenzy over the arrangements. Talking to Dad): Can you go and collect the food . It must be ready now and (to the maid). Make sure the upstairs room is perfect and keep those 2 chairs and a side table for the boy and girl.

Maid : But that chair has a problem. The back-rest is loose. It will be bad if the boy sits on it and it gives away.

Mom : Then we have to get another chair . (To Dad). Hey do you hear that..

Dad (Over the news paper): What?? Oh the chair, Mole , you make sure to sit on that chair when you take him upstairs. That problem is solved (Goes back to the paper).

Cousins(To the girl) : The postman has come and it looks like he has a registered for you.
Every one gets the registered and it turns out to be a placement order to join a software company in Bangalore after college.

Mom and Dad : this is such a good news to come today. The boy is working in Bangalore too.

She wasn't listening. Her mind was a whirl of excitement and happiness at her job. She felt nothing could take that smile off her face that day.

****************************************

Girl (Practicing walking in Saree with ease and talking to herself): Hey I just hope I don't trip down the stairs when I take him up the room . And yes the right chair is the faulty one and I should sit on it . No. that would be way rude, I should somehow stand right in front of the faulty chair so that he will sit on the good one and then I will sit on the bad one..Hmm that's a better idea. And I'm going to be absolutely frank with him. If he does like me even after that..

Sound of calling bell and a general flurry in the house : (They have come . They have come. )

Boy's relatives ad girl's relatives talking :
"Yes her course is almost over and she has just got a job in Bangalore. Her joining order came today".

"Oh that is SO nice, (the boy) , he works in Bangalore too..

"May be we should let the boy and girl talk  for a while alone".

Dad : Mole , may be you should take him to the upstairs room where you can talk, while every one else has tea and snacks.

Girl and boy entering the room . (The settings are all ready , complete with a side table  with tea and some chips.)

Boy : You know , I was planning to ask you that dialogue from Sandesham . "The Das Kapital Vayichittundo one"? He laughed.. Oh and my cousins were warning me not to scare you with my loud laugh..

Girl : (Laughing ) My cousins have trained me to say "balaramayum poombattayum vayikkarundu.. " (I read Balarama and Poombatta , two children's bi weeklies that every 80's kid in kerala grew up with),if ever that question comes up.

As she laughs , he walks ahead and sits on the chair.

Girl : (for the love of god , I don;t remember which one was faulty. I  just hope it doesn't give away.)

Boy: No need to be tensed.

Girl sheepishly tells him the chair incident and they both laugh again.

Boy : So why did you take IT? Why not electronics?

Girl :  I just hate it when people ask me this. While choosing an engineering degree, every one wants Electronics and Mech and finally when placements come all they want to do is scramble for IT jobs. I just hate those Jaada people.

Boy : You know , I'm probably one of "those" people. I joined mechanical engineering for a year and then wrote the exam all over again just to get electronics in a good college and now I'm in IT.

Girl :(Regretting that she said that at all ) : I'm just too blunt. I didn't mean people like you. I just meant those that look down upon IT engineers.

Boy : So, do you really read? (Don't give me the movie answer please). I love books and poetry and all those things.

Girl :  So do I. Actually I just love reading books and even just looking at them in a book store.

Boy : Me too.
(And they delve into an discussion involving Jeffrey Archer to O.V Vijayan)

And I love old Hindi songs. Especially Mukesh.

Girl : I love old Hindi songs too. But I like Kishore Kumar better.

Boy : So what are you planning to do with the short vacation before you come to Bangalore.

Girl : Hmm haven't really thought about it , but probably learn a bit of cooking  , you know if I'm really going to get married, I'd better learn some basic stuff.

Boy: Sure you don't want to ask what every one wants to ask at these things? (About my bad habits?)

Girl : Since you are putting that topic back at me , I'm pretty sure you don't have any..You don't smoke ? Do you?
Boy shakes his head .

Girl : Good , that's something I can't stand..

Boy : (Looking out of the window ). Wow you have jack fruits in your back yard. I love them. Do you know how to cook them by any chance?

Girl : (shocked): No. (suddenly gaining her wits). But if you can cut it up for me , I can give it a try.

Both looked at each other and laughed at each other's candidness.

Boy: We'd better go back down. They must be all wondering why we are taking so long.
Girl : So what are you going to tell them?
Boy (with a  smile): Wait and see. It is a suspense.

They went down the stairs , the boy in front, the girl behind him . The girl feeling for the first time that she wanted this boy to like her after all and a trifle perplexed at his suspense talk. Did he really like her or was he that his usual demeanour?

The boy smiled to himself. He liked this frank and artless girl  . But he would make her wait a trifle more for his reply. There would be a whole lifetime to chat and joke about it later..

***************************************************************

The Day before the Pennu Kaanal -May 7 2004

Re-blogging from my old blog entry "Seeing the Guy" written on May 7 2007. My mom brought a bunch of my old blogs which she had printed out long back and when I read this entry , I realized that this had been written exactly 5 years ago about my first and only pennu kaanal which happened eight years ago!.

Three years back , on this day,  a girl was preparing for her first ordeal of seeing the guy ceremony or pennu kaanal.

Mother :Did you hear? There are 9 people coming tomorrow from the boy's side and you are sitting here and reading the news paper?

Father: So what? Let them come. Anyway, we are ordering the snacks from outside. They will deliver it tomorrow afternoon.

Girl :9 People? What for? They are wasting a lot of money. Most probably they won't like me.

Mother :Molu, Don't say like that. Why don't you agree to wear a silk saree? Why are you so adamant?

Girl: Amma, I already told you. I'm not dressing up too much. If you badly want me to wear a saree , I will wear that cotton saree you bought for me last week. I'm just not comfortable in showy clothes and it just wouldn't be me... And I'd prefer they like me the way I am.

Aunt :(Whispering to Mother). She is like all teenagers, don't irritate her anymore. She looks good in that cotton saree though she thinks otherwise.

Girl: Why can't you just tell those people I'm not old enough? I'm just completing my final semester exams.

Mother :But the horoscopes , it was said that the match is perfect like that of Shiva and Parvati and also what can we say against them, the guy is handsome, educated and has a good job in the same city that you are getting placed .

Brother (coming in): So someone liked her photo and is coming to see her? Good Grief! and she will take tea and come down the stairs like in the movies (laughing his head out).

Girl : I'm doing no such thing.As it is , I don't even know how to make a decent cup of tea..

Mother : You don't have to take or make the tea. I will do it. You only have to talk and act docile for some time.

Girl : What?

Cousin 1 :(Coming in and imitating Sreenivasan talking to a girl during a marriage proposal scene in a famous Malayalam movie). "Vayikkarundo?" "Njan palappozhum undergroundil aayirikkum". ("Do you Read?" I am a naxalite and I will be in hiding most of the time").

Girl (Laughing) : If he asks that , I have answers.

Cousin 2: Yeah , tomorrow all this laughter will be gone. You will be the shy girl that we see in movies , not even looking up.

Girl :We'll see.

Aunt :Why's her face puffy?

Girl :(Pointing to her mother). She made me go to the beauty parlour for a facial. I think I have an allergy.

Aunt : Oh , that will be alright by tomorrow. Don't worry.

Girl (Thinking) : I hope they don't like me. I'm way too young to get married.

Mother (Thinking) :I just hope she behaves herself. Will she spoil this on purpose? Hope everything turns out well.

Brother and Cousins (Thinking): We are going to have a gala time tomorrow ragging her.

Read Part 2 here

My Most Beautiful Thing

As we traveled silently

On a beautiful springy day

Tender leaves and flowers

Along a lonely  path

Imbibing the beauty

Around me , I smile

Silently humming

A melodious song

I look at him and

He was silent too

Drumming his fingers

In sync with his silent song

Suddenly he sings aloud

The song from my heart

I look at him, Exchanging smiles ,

Singing the melody of our hearts

Reveling in the closeness

That made our hearts sing in sync

In the silent harmony of spring

A most beautiful thing

Wrote this one after being inspired reading many posts on the same topic posted on

my-most-beautiful-thing-blogsplash

Raindrops

Raindrops , don't stop
As slowly memories trickle
Drop by drop..into my mind's
Closed window pane

Amazed I look through the mist
In blurred vision I see
An umbrella, A smile
A paper boat in the rain

A distant land , wet , green,
The fields , the streams,
The moss covered paths
And the walks in the rain

The smell of the earth
After the first rain
The song of moist cool winds
A Sweet melancholy refrain

Like Knights with lightening swords,
The dark nights thunder by
Clearing up into a beautiful
Black bright Orion lit sky

Waking up with a smile .Refreshed,
Wiping off the soft blurry mist
I want to let the falling raindrops
Fill my heart.. Again.

When I made my Daddy Happy

I was playing with my Thomas and Friends train set when I saw Daddy reading that book. I was immediately interested. It had a picture of a laptop on it . I loved laptops . Ever since I could remember which wasn't really much, since I had been born only 3 years ago. But I had been fascinated enough by it to take out keys, try feed it corn flakes and even pull out a CD drive . Now I know it is something that needs to be handled with care. I can watch you tube videos all by myself. (swells with pride).

Source

That book looked like it is full of laptop pictures. I decided to employ my usual methods of coercion to wheedle the book out of his hands. I wailed and I howled . Daddy just walked away into a different room to read. I decided to pester him until I got what I wanted. Little babies like me always had their way. "I wanna book....". I wailed again. Mama came and lifted me off my feet. I wailed louder. "I wanna book". Finally Dad got tired of it and kept the book with a bang in front of me and walked away in a huff. I got what I wanted. I quickly grabbed the book. But suddenly ,it wasn't fun anymore. I looked around hoping to flash my victorious smile , but Daddy had gone off somewhere.

I went to look for him. I found him in the bedroom lying down on the bed . Realization struck me. I understood. I lie down on the bed by myself when I'm sad . I had made Daddy sad by taking the book all for myself . I felt sad too. I wanted that book badly , but I wanted Daddy to be happy too. I looked at the book and then at Daddy. Then I made my decision. I quietly kept the book near Daddy and walked back looking for Mama. I ran into her arms and wept my heart out. Then I felt a kiss on my tear stained cheek, and the rugged feel of an unshaven face .I out stretched my arms and jumped to hug my Daddy. He was smiling at me and telling Mama how proud he was of me. That I had given up something I really really wanted to make some one else I cared about happy. That I would grow up a fine man.

The world was alright again as Daddy placed me on his lap and we looked at the laptop pictures in the book together.

P.S : Giving is not an art. It comes straight from your heart. This story would be my son's take on the topic :)